Every time I read or think about Mr. Collins's statement, I get a case of the shakes... Well, just the "head shakes."  You know...the kind of head shake that takes the words out of my step-daughter's mouth: no, no!   It's that feeling of "it can't be so."  It's that feeling of "how?"  Which need/want/desire gets shoved to the back of the line today?  Which person gets less of my attention than I want them to have?   Which hobby gets ignored?  Which skill gets rusty? 

No-No

I have a hard time saying, "no."  It's hard for me to say no to the people in my life...my wife, my children, and good friends.  It's hard for me to say no to myself.  I want to go fishing or hiking or play guitar or read a good book or just do nothing.  I am so interested in people and activities, that priorities are hard for me to maintain. 

Why? Having priorities means that I have to say, "no," to people and activities.  It means that I have to disappoint others.  It means that I have to disappoint myself.  Hmmm....that's disappointing.... Saying, "no," feels like I'm depriving myself of the joy and satisfaction that come with my favorite people and activities.  Disappointed and deprived...  I don't like it!

Disappointed and Deprived  

Where do you find yourself feeling disappointed and deprived?  For some of you, you may actually know what deprivation feels like.  Real deprivation...  If that describes you, then the rest of this article may not be for you.   The you to whom the question is directed is the you who faces a similar dilemma to mine: to many people and too many things and interests and goals and needs and desires to be able to attend any of them well.  If that describes you, where do you find yourself feeling disappointed and deprived? 

What are the tensions that you feel?  Do you find yourself picking who "wins" and who "loses"?   Do you find yourself feeling like you're the one losing? 

In the midst of it all, are you able to do anything well?  Can you honestly consider that you've excelled at any of them?  Would you like to?

Excellence requires...

Excellence requires focus. 

WAIT!  If the idea that excellence requires focus is...unsettling...you're not alone!  I'm right next to you with a similar reaction. 

In the seventh grade I joined the band.  I'd played with guitar before, but I'd never really learned how to play.  The band director did several tests and then assigned me an instrument.  It wasn't a glamorous instrument, but it was mine to master.

I did well and within a couple of years wanted to learn to play another instrument...or two...or three...  The band director kept telling me to focus on the instrument at hand.  I wanted to branch out...  He told me to focus... I wanted to pick up another instrument... He insisted that I focus... 

By my junior year in university, I finally heard what my junior high band director had been telling me.   Skills developed only somewhat fall far short of mastery.  He wanted me to master my instrument.   At age twenty, I got the message.  I worked for mastery not for mediocrity.  I got close to mastery and could peer through the window at excellence before I let my focus get side-tracked. 

As I write, almost two decades have passed since the I learned that lesson about focus.  The journey has been a rather meandering one that has been mostly devoid of focus. That's why I read Mr. Collins's words and cringe.  My only real failure was a failure to maintain focus. That's what excellence requires: focus on a few priorities/skills over an extended period of time. 

What That Really Means Is...

Jim Collins and my junior high band director agree.  People who have a hard time prioritizing, and even saying no to good opportunities, will also have a hard time mastering any area of life.  OUCH!  I DON'T WANT TO SAY NO!

The bottom line is that I, and you, can either learn that saying no to good opportunities is really some thing else.  It's learning to say yes only to the best opportunities.  Can you commit to that?  Can you learn to say YES, but only to the very best opportunities that are ALSO aligned with your top three priorities???

That's the challenge I hear Mr. Collins issuing.  It still make me shake my head and cringe a bit.  I know that saying yes will operationally mean saying no. 

Is It Worth the Struggle?

My head is wired to examine results.  Even though I've been altering my tactics and strategies in the quest for better results, I've not been pleased.  When I close my eyes and think of my vision for the future, I've got a long way to go to see the results that I want to see.  I know that I have options:

1. Continue saying yes to everything that seems interesting, intriguing or of value.

Result: Moderate pleasure in and interesting and diverse experience that is devoid of excellence.

2. Learn to say yes only to those opportunities that support the priorities on which I have chosen to focus.

Result:  Extreme joy at achieving my goals and supporting my priorities in ways that lead to mastery and excellence. 

When you close your eyes and take a look into your future, which do you prefer: moderate pleasure or extreme joy?  Mediocrity or excellence?  Saying yes to everything or only to select opportunities that support your key priorities and goals?

Think of it this way:  do you want to be able to play "Mary had a little lamb..." on every instrument in the band or play one so well that everyone who hears you says, WOW!

You can do either.   It all depends on your focus.

J. Michael Thurman lives and writes in the Tulsa, Oklahoma, area. 

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